The Game of Thrones theme just came on my playlist, and without warning my heart squeezed up in pain and I groaned: “Theon”. My subconscious has officially affirmed for me who I feel the most interesting and gut-wrenching character is. 

thekrakensonions:

Every Night Is Theon Night during Theon Week - (and Every Week Is Theon Week at TheKrakensOnions)

thekrakensonions:

Every Night Is Theon Night during Theon Week - (and Every Week Is Theon Week at TheKrakensOnions)

I was thinking about Ramsay and Theon and my music was on shuffle and Pleasure and Pain by the Divinyls came on and now I feel really unclean but also really happy.

~POTENTIAL GoT SPOILERS kind of maybe, I dunno, I haven’t seen tonight’s episode yet~

The full resolution is here because Tumblr’s a jerk.

I wanted this to be crack, but without Ramsay actually performing a villainous musical number (I don’t have time to write one, sorry, I honestly would, it’d be like “Be Prepared” but with less hyenas and more flaying) … this is just kind of… bad fan-fiction.

Ramsay being attractive is going to do awful things to me. Ugh. I can’t wait.

I genuinely cannot tell whether you like (or feel pity for, or despise, or are quite neutral about) Theon Greyjoy! The finer workings of sarcasm are obviously quite lost on me, but I figured this was a good time to ask you a thing, because I do enjoy asking you things. You are a sweet honey child and I love reading your posts and opinions and I'm in an ASOIAF mood so ~ Might you indulge your Theon opinions/meta/feelings//whatever else? As it happens, I'm also in an eeba-ism mood too ◡‿◡✿ — Anonymous

I really like Theon!

He gets my full sympathy… and, admittedly, my arousal. The only aspect of his character I consider a true flaw is his misuse of women in certain situations (i.e. salt wives), but I think his relationship with Asha has forced him to consider the capabilities of women a heck of a lot more than, say, Robb Stark has considered them (idk, the Mormonts, I guess? I just… don’t like Robb anywhere near as much as Theon, or at all, really. He doesn’t interest me :c ).

The conversation Theon and Asha have when he fails to recognise her is, for me, the most erotically charged exchange in the series. I adore it because they’re both such sassy, witty shits, and the conversation is half flirting, half posturing (my favourite kind of romantic conversation) — and the fact Theon values a brainy woman above all else is a fine thing.

He brings out a lot of “little brother” feelings in me, too. Before it got to the point where it was too late, I wished for him to heed Asha, but I understand why he didn’t, and had I been in his situation I’m not sure I would have either. He’s proud, and he’s fighting for the right to retain that pride, and quite literally *everyone* around him wants to strip that pride away. That ain’t fair.

And… I’m not feeling particularly bright this evening, so I’m not sure what else to add xD

I guess, I might add that last year at Supanova Alfie Allen told me my outfit was hot, which, by extension, I like to think meant he thought I was hot. And then he asked me what I was doing later. And then I acted like a complete dill, but it was still one of the greatest moments of my life (omfg, honestly, the greatest).

So… that certainly affects my opinion of Theon, too. I went from thinking “I sympathise with you” to “take me below deck right now”. And then I read the books, which helped me finally arrive at: “please be ok, please have a happy ending somehow, please please please you poor, poor boy”.

Ugh. Theon feels. Also thank you for calling me a sweet honey child, that made my evening, anon x3 *hugs*

thekrakensonions:




Justice Ramster! - Takin’ names. Teachin’ lessons.




Oh, bless and behold Ramsay’s goodness.
I’ll never get over how Theon brutally murdered the miller’s boys, nor that it was his idea to pass them off as Bran and Rickon. I’ll never get over the cowardly, slimy way he sacked Winterfell, and enslaved its smallfolk for his evil, torturous purposes. I’ll never get over the fact he betrayed Robb, the just and beautiful, and I’ll especially never get over the innocent life he stole when he ate that rat. Like, jfc Theon what’d that rat ever do to you.
Only an absolute cunt in need of a good long flaying would commit all those heinous crimes — and anyone who says otherwise is just as bad as he is!
Haha. Idiots.

thekrakensonions:

Justice Ramster! - Takin’ names. Teachin’ lessons.

Oh, bless and behold Ramsay’s goodness.

I’ll never get over how Theon brutally murdered the miller’s boys, nor that it was his idea to pass them off as Bran and Rickon. I’ll never get over the cowardly, slimy way he sacked Winterfell, and enslaved its smallfolk for his evil, torturous purposes. I’ll never get over the fact he betrayed Robb, the just and beautiful, and I’ll especially never get over the innocent life he stole when he ate that rat. Like, jfc Theon what’d that rat ever do to you.

Only an absolute cunt in need of a good long flaying would commit all those heinous crimes — and anyone who says otherwise is just as bad as he is!

Haha. Idiots.


So, this is a really advanced joke — seriously, though, are there any farmers on the Iron Islands, or do you have to pay the iron price for vegetables, too?

I couldn’t help it — it’s because HBO made the “DO NOT” really big on their Greyjoy sigil, so I read it as meaning:

"We absolutely, indubitably DO NOT sow, metaphorically or literally and everything in between — and If we catch you sowing, you’re a dead motherfucker."

Also, y’know, if Theon can’t have it, no one can.